Anchovies are an amazing pizza topping and I’m tired of pretending they’re not.
Perhaps you’ve gone to take a bite of pizza before noticing a tiny fish lying atop the cheese. Or maybe you’ve taken a bite and noticed the salty and somewhat crumbly texture of an anchovy gracing your tongue.
If you’re like most people, you probably gasped in horror and maybe even rushed over to the nearest garbage can. Statistically speaking, you’re probably yet another anchovy hater who can’t bear the thought of a tiny fish resting on your pizza slice.
If that sounds like you, I’ve got a message for you: get over it.
The thought of being disgusted by a tiny little fish as a pizza topping is utterly absurd and frankly, it’s time more people started being honest about it. When you refuse to eat pizza that’s come into contact with anchovies, you’re depriving yourself of one of the most flavourful, delightful additions to the classic Italian dish.
As long as I’ve lived, I’ve found it impossible to understand how a person could enjoy a meal of fish and chips only to turn around and tell me I’m disgusting for enjoying a fish on my pizza. Talk about hypocrisy. If you have no problem consuming meals with fish as a primary course, you have no right to act like you’re somehow above eating a smaller fish as an ingredient.
As for the flavour of an anchovy, it’s mostly just salty, which means it’s not an unfamiliar taste for pretty much anyone. In short, if you’re okay with eating fish and you don’t mind the taste of salt, there should be no logical problem with eating anchovies.
If you’ve still got concerns about eating one of our fishy friends, refer to this handy set of rebuttals:
Don’t like the salty flavour?
Then why do you have a salt shaker in your cupboard?
Too slimy?
If the pizza’s been prepared properly, it shouldn’t be slimy or wet. Take it up with the chef.
Don’t like the idea of gobbling a creature whole?
I promise you, you’ll survive.
What about those little hairs growing out of it?
Think of it like an extra-special texture.
Don’t like fish?
When’s the last time you tried it?
…that’s what I thought.
As you can see, most arguments following anti-anchovy rhetoric can be easily debunked. I have a feeling that many people who strongly dislike anchovies on pizza have never even tried it and are more afraid of falling out of line than they are of the ingredient itself.
But it’s time for anchovy lovers to stop living in silence and fear. We know we’ve got one of the best pizza toppings of all time, and it’s time we stop allowing the ignorance of others to define the recommendations we make to our friends. It’s time to live freely, be ourselves and enjoy an anchovy or two with each slice.
If that sounds unreasonable to you, remember that it could always be worse.
At least it’s not pineapple.