Milk Duds are one of the best candies to give out this Halloween.
Whether Milk Duds are good or not has been a long-held topic of debate. This has led to a cultural divide in which one group absolutely adores the candy, while the other holds a deep resentment towards the sugary treat.
In case it’s not already obvious, I side with the former.
For those unaware, Milk Duds are a candy created in 1928 by The Hershey Company. The candies are quite simple, consisting only of caramel completely covered in a layer of chocolate. This means that, at first glance, Milk Duds appear to be deformed balls of chocolate that only reveal their caramelised secret upon the first chew.
The caramel is somewhat tough at first, but the more it’s chewed, the softer and stickier it becomes. What starts as a sweet bite of chocolate soon becomes a soft mouthful of chewy caramel before a satisfying gulp completes the experience.
Milk Duds are candy at its purest: no special colours or visual design to make them stand out, no quirky textures or gimmicks to keep it in your mind, just small sticky balls of caramel that prioritise substance over style. Milk Duds don’t need to be beautiful to stand out; their creators are confident enough to rely on taste and texture alone.
Unfortunately, some people fail to appreciate the Milk Dud experience.
In 2020, a post on X (then Twitter) saw many users take a bold stance against the gooey, chocolate-covered lumps of delight.
“Picking anything except Milk Duds,” one user said.
“Milk Duds can suck donkey balls,” another argued.
When discussing the Milk Dud debacle, one argument from naysayers seems to spring up time and time again, which is that the caramel is so sticky that it can attach itself to the teeth and be difficult to completely remove from the mouth.
It is indeed true that Milk Duds easily stick to the teeth, but whether this is an issue or not is purely a matter of perspective. If you view the fact that you have to pick it off your teeth as a chore, this could be considered a fair complaint. If you choose to see it as part of the experience — and perhaps view the tiny chunks of caramel stuck to your teeth as a delicious surprise to enjoy later in the day — then even this will start to grow on you.
Personally, if any part of the Milk Dud experience should be seen as an issue, it’s that the caramel can be so tough during the first few chews that the jaw can quickly become tired. I have a fairly strong jaw, yet even my strong chewing capabilities can be bested by an oversized Milk Dud.
Once again, flipping your perspective on the issue can make all the difference. After all, if your jaw gets tired and you have to stop eating, it just means you’ll still have more Milk Duds to enjoy later.
Indeed, Milk Duds deserve to be revered as one of the best candies the world has ever seen, and those taking issue with them should give them another chance. They may lack pizazz and might occasionally become cumbersome to swallow, but in their purest form, they are a celebration for the senses and representative of all that candy stands for.
If you’re giving out treats this Halloween, drop the rice cakes and dental floss — give out something kids will actually enjoy.
Give them Milk Duds.