When you’re in public with your significant other, please don’t reach a level of intimacy that makes others uncomfortable.
As I sat on the city bus, travelling home from an evening class a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t help but notice the snuggling couple a few seats ahead of me. The pair made it very clear to everyone on the bus that they were very much in love. Their bodies intertwined as they felt each other’s warm embrace; they felt each other with a passion reminiscent of a scene from a romantic movie.
Except this wasn’t a romantic movie — it was a dingy city bus at 10 p.m. and any “extras” present in the scene were unwilling bystanders.
My valiant efforts to look away were in vain. It was kind of like driving past a terrible car crash on the highway: you might not want to look, it might make you totally uncomfortable, but for some reason your eyes drift in that direction anyway. Even if it’s in absolute disbelief, you just can’t help but look.
I have to wonder why people — grown university students who should definitely know better, no less — would behave this way in public. Is it that they’re just so hopelessly in love that they can’t help but turn a bus ride into a snuggle session? Is the city bus secretly considered a romantic location that I’m just not privy to? Or — and this is probably most likely — were they just hoping to make a spectacle out of their relationship for everyone on the bus to see?
Ultimately, I don’t know for sure, but it was pretty uncomfortable either way. Being the closest one seated to the couple, I felt like a non-consenting third wheel.
This was immature behaviour, even if they really were so deeply in love that they just couldn’t hold it in. There are some forms of intimacy that should be kept behind closed doors or reserved for moments when you’re otherwise alone with your partner.
Believe me, I don’t care what you do when no one else is around. That’s entirely your business and I’m certainly not going to inquire. But when a couple makes a show out of their romance for all to see, they come across as attention-seeking.
Perhaps this makes me sound like a grumbling old man or a cynic that doesn’t believe in true love, but that isn’t the case. It’s completely reasonable to want to take a ride home on the bus after a long day and not witness a couple feeling each other up in the meantime.
This also doesn’t mean that couples should refrain from any physical touch in public. It’s completely normal to hold hands, for example, and I don’t believe any reasonable person would take issue with that. But there are various levels of intimacy, and past a certain point it’s simply more respectful to keep those kinds of feelings to yourself when you’re around others. Full-on cuddling or smooching sessions in public feel as though they’re crossing an unspoken social line.
So, the next time you’re about to make out with your partner on the city bus, take a moment to think about whether that would be respectful to the strangers around you. Ask yourself if it might be worth waiting until you get home. If your partner is pushing you and you’re uncomfortable, maybe tell them that some sensations are better suited for the veil of privacy.
Trust me — the world will thank you.