We’ve all heard it — the cliché that success is a steady climb up a corporate ladder, a house with a white picket fence and a wallet full of shiny credit cards: spouse, house and kids. But success in this respect is an outdated ideal, and it’s about time we change it.
From a young age, we’re bombarded with the narrative that success means high-paying jobs, expensive vacations and a “perfect” life that we can put on Instagram for validation. But in a world that’s rapidly changing, it’s time we reconsider what a “successful life” really means. The outdated definition of success needs a major overhaul, because the truth is, it’s no longer one-size-fits-all.
The “American dream” glorified the nuclear family unit, office jobs and owning a house. Appropriately so, young people these days are starting to question all that –– a desk job is not for everyone, not everyone wants kids and a spouse, and the idea of owning a house is out of reach for so many of us.
For generations, success has been packaged into a neat, socially acceptable formula: graduate from a prestigious institution, land a high-paying job, climb the career ladder, buy a house, start a family and then retire comfortably at 65. It’s a dream many of us grew up with, and for some, it still holds strong. But it’s increasingly obvious that this formula doesn’t fit for the majority of us. What happens when the traditional markers of success — like money, status or homeownership — are no longer attainable or desirable for everyone?
Let’s be clear: success has long been synonymous with material wealth, societal approval and outward achievement. The problem is that these markers don’t account for our well-being, our passions or the things that actually make us feel fulfilled. More than ever, we’re seeing how a rigid idea of success can leave us feeling hollow. We’re working ourselves into burnout, struggling with mental health and questioning whether the sacrifices we’re making are really worth it.
One of the major shifts in recent years has been the rise of “side hustle” culture. People have found creative outlets, whether in the form of a small business or a passion project, that push them to constantly hustle, 24/7. But here’s the catch: hustle culture often leads to burnout. We’re told that success means working harder and harder, but when does it stop? At what point do we redefine success as something that’s not about how much you can produce, but about how much you can enjoy life?
They say it’s the little things in life, right? Being present, enjoying every meal, hanging out with loved ones and trying new things… This is what I’ve been trying to do recently, but so often, we treat our wealth like life’s main goal and everything else like a side-quest.
It’s time we start thinking of success as something more personal, something beyond external validation. Instead of chasing titles or paychecks, we should focus on living lives that are aligned with our values and desires. For some, that might mean pursuing a career in the arts or nonprofit work, even if it doesn’t come with a high salary. For others, it might look like building a fulfilling, unconventional lifestyle — like travelling or living in a tiny house — where happiness and experiences are the true markers of success.
My therapist has been asking me for a while now –– what do you want? It’s a very important question; one I haven’t yet figured out completely. But it’s enlightening to think in this manner, and it can set you on the right track. You often start to realize that what you thought you wanted was just someone else choosing your path. Society, professors, parents… Their opinions can matter, but no one understands you better than you.
Redefining success also means embracing the concept of failure — not as something to be feared, but as a necessary part of the journey. What if failure wasn’t the worst thing that could happen, but the greatest teacher we could encounter? The narrative needs to change so that we see failure as an opportunity to learn, grow and ultimately get closer to what makes us feel whole.
We also need to embrace the idea that success doesn’t look the same for everyone — and that’s okay. For some, success may mean creating a family. For others, it could be building a career in a field that brings them joy or even taking a year off to travel and see the world; or moving to a small town and developing close relationships with everyone in it; or living secluded in the wilderness; or on a boat; or running a doggy day-care. Success shouldn’t be a one-size-fits-all definition, and it certainly shouldn’t be based on what other people think of you.
You choose who and what you want in your life: where you want to be and how you want to be. Surround yourself with things you love! For me, that’s books and cats and dogs, but it can be literally anything.
It’s time to recognize that a successful life isn’t about fitting into a mould, it’s about creating a life that aligns with your values and makes you feel fulfilled. Success is about finding joy in the small moments, making time for what matters and having the courage to live authentically, even when it doesn’t look like what society expects. (How long has the “crazy cat lady” been made fun of? And why, if she’s happy?)
The truth is that success is subjective, and it’s about time we rewrite the narrative. A life isn’t measured in dollar signs or titles — it’s measured in happiness, fulfillment and the ability to wake up each day feeling content with where we are, regardless of where we’ve been told we should be.
So, here’s to redefining success. Let’s make it personal. Let’s make it meaningful.
Let’s make it real.