After returning home from their away game against the Detroit Pistons at Little Caesars Arena, the Toronto Raptors’ team bus came to an abrupt stop amid some of the most bizarre news in sports history.
Just moments earlier, Scotiabank Arena staff called the team’s front office to report that their mascot, The Raptor, had gone berserk. It’s a well-known fact that The Raptor lives in a luxurious, enclosed dinosaur habitat beneath the arena’s floors. He stays there peacefully until he returns to the court on game days or needs to be transported to Raptors 905 games, where he performs his usual dance number and fan interaction skits. When the shocking news reached the team, everyone was in utter disbelief.
Luckily for The Brock Press, the original call to the team bus was leaked, revealing vital information on how the events unfolded.
At around 8:32 p.m. on the night of March 31, a loud banging sound was heard from the corridor connecting the Raptor’s habitat to the rest of the arena. When janitorial staff investigated what or who might have caused the sound, they were confronted with a horrifying sight. The metal door to the enclosure was completely shredded, leaving one of the mascot’s teeth as evidence, while a trail of popcorn and pretzel bites led down the hall.
“I didn’t know what to do, you know. The Raptor has always followed the same routine since it arrived. To see that door ripped up on the ground made me think I was a goner,” said an unidentified janitorial staff member at Scotiabank Arena.
Soon after security was called to the scene, there were roars heard from a distance followed by a chilling wave of human screams. When security followed the trail of food down the hallway, their worst fear had come to fruition. There was the Raptor, running towards the court with blue raspberry slushy dripping down his mouth onto the floor.
While the chase continued, other staff were found hiding in storage closets, cowering in fear from the frightening noises they heard. By the time the security team had reached floor level, the Raptor was now in full view, tearing apart the stanchion and pulling down the net on each side of the court.
By 9:02 p.m., the animal control unit had surrounded the arena’s exterior, with a team of reptile specialists moving in to attempt to handle the insane situation. It didn’t take long for the Raptor to begin ripping up each floorboard one by one with his massive jaw, prying the wood panels up with ease. All that security could do at this point was sit and watch, hoping that the rabid beast was busy enough not to make them his next target.
By 9:06 p.m., the reptile specialist team was surrounding the court, wielding high-powered tranquillizer guns that were fit to subdue the largest reptiles in the world. After a specialist maneuvered behind the mascot, a single shot to the back of the leg was all it took for the beast to fall to the ground and be taken by the team.
In the aftermath of the event, no one was severely injured, however, one janitorial staff member was lightly scratched on the arm after barely escaping the Raptor’s grasp.
After the beast was taken to a reptile-mascot specialist and underwent testing, it was confirmed that the Raptor had developed a severe case of reptile rabies. The disease was the first of its kind to be reported, but the veterinarian developed a remedy in miraculous time to save the Raptor and return it to health in just a matter of hours.
What caused the case of rabies is currently unknown. Still, some Scotiabank Arena staff claim it has something to do with the newly acquired female Raptor the organization had purchased not too long ago.
As for the team, they returned home as usual and will continue their scheduled game against the Sacramento Kings tonight at 8:00 p.m., assuming no further cases of reptile rabies will be reported in the coming hours.
This article is part of a special edition of The Brock Press for April Fools and is completely satirical. None of the content contained within this article is meant to be representative of reality and all quotes have been fabricated.