Content warning: this article contains discussions of sexual assault, intimate partner violence and gender-based violence. If you or someone you know is facing abuse or navigating trauma, local supports can be found at findahelpline.com.
Meme culture, parasocial relationships and misogyny intertwine to make life a living hell for any survivors of abuse who come forward to tell their stories — especially if their abusers are well-liked public figures.
Following the #MeToo movement, several public figures have spoken out about experiencing sexual assault, intimate partner violence (IPV) and other symptoms of gender-based oppression.
Originally in an effort to draw attention to sexual violence and spread awareness about abuse, the #MeToo movement functioned as a catalyst for survivors of abuse to share their stories and find solidarity. However, once beloved celebrities were outed as abusive, survivors became targets of public scrutiny, not their abusers.
Arguably the greatest abuse scandal in recent memory occurred between actor Johnny Depp and actress Amber Heard. Before we delve into the internet’s response to the abuse allegations towards both parties, it is crucial to recap the story that brought us to the sensationalized scandal.
In 2016, Heard filed for divorce from Depp following 15 months of marriage and was granted a temporary domestic violence restraining order from Depp while the two waited for their hearing that was scheduled for the next month.
For months following the divorce, Heard and Depp faced court battles while evidence of abuse from Depp continued to leak online, with TMZ circulating a video of Depp throwing a wine bottle in the same room as Heard, and major news outlets shared photos of Heard with bruises on her face.
In late 2018, Heard published an Op-Ed in The Washington Post. The piece, titled “I spoke up against sexual violence — and faced our culture’s wrath. That has to change,” argues that our culture allows cycles of gender-based violence and abuse to go unchallenged, shown by the mounds of power abusers possess to invalidate or undermine the testimonies of survivors. Heard begins the article noting her acknowledgement of the relationship between abuse and power early on in her life:
“I was exposed to abuse at a very young age. I knew certain things early on, without ever having to be told,” writes Heard. “I knew that men have the power — physically, socially and financially — and that a lot of institutions support that arrangement. I knew this long before I had the words to articulate it, and I bet you learned it young, too.
“Like many women, I had been harassed and sexually assaulted by the time I was of college age. But I kept quiet — I did not expect filing complaints to bring justice. And I didn’t see myself as a victim.”
Heard goes on to describe her shift into “a public figure representing domestic abuse,” though she does not name her alleged abuser or note any further details that would make this person identifiable.
After the article was published, Depp filed a defamation lawsuit in the amount of $50 million, calling Heard’s allegations of abuse in the article “elaborate hoax.” Once again, Heard did not name her alleged abuser at all in the piece.
The defamation trial catapulted the internet into a frenzy, as social media audiences analyzed and discussed the trial as if Depp and Heard were characters in a new legal drama.
It is important to note that Depp alleged that Heard was abusive towards him, with the couple’s former marriage counsellor noting that she believed the dynamic between the two was indicative of mutual abuse. However, many IPV experts call mutual abuse a “myth,” arguing that “some people, especially partners who are abusive, use this language to manipulate or gaslight their partner into thinking the abuse is happening on both ends” and to shift blame away from themselves.
The issue here is not who was more abusive to who — the trial presented evidence of some degree of unhealthy behaviour on both sides, and debating this would not only be purposeless, but also insensitive and invasive. The issue, however, lies within the internet’s response to the allegations of abuse against their favourite actor.
Whereas fans of Depp compiled clips of “the funniest parts” of the trial, showing Depp making quirky mistakes while on the stand and cracking jokes to the court, they also made compilations of Heard’s moments on the stand. These compilations include edits making fun of her “fake crying” as she was forced to describe in intricate detail how she had allegedly been sexually violated to an audience of millions. The videos also dissected her “bad acting” when she recounted experiences of alleged physical abuse from Depp.
While the internet laughed with Depp, they tormented Heard, analyzing every slight movement of hers throughout the trial to find a way to paint her as a criminal mastermind framing Depp.
At the end of the trial, the jury ruled that the Op-Ed was, in fact, defamatory towards Depp. Depp received $15 million in damages.
However, Heard also received $2 million in damages after the jury decided that Depp’s lawyer calling Heard’s allegations “a hoax” was defamatory.
After the trial ended, Heard said the following:
“I’m heartbroken that the mountain of evidence still was not enough to stand up to the disproportionate power, influence, and sway of my ex-husband. I am even more disappointed with what this verdict means for other women. It is a setback. It sets back the clock to a time when a woman who spoke up and spoke out could be publicly shamed and humiliated. It sets back the idea that violence against women is to be taken seriously.”
To this day, Depp fans admit to “laughing at [the trial] years later.”
Heard is not the only celebrity involved in an abuse scandal to be humiliated relentlessly after coming forward. Back in 2009, pop singer Rihanna, who was only 20 years old at the time, was brutally assaulted by her then-boyfriend and famous rapper Chris Brown. Following sensationalized coverage of the assault — with photos of Rihanna’s face visibly bloodied and bruised being sold to the press, and Brown alleging the abuse took place on “mutual sides” — Rihanna described the humiliation that came with her story going public:
“I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people were making it into a fun topic on the internet, and it’s my life.”
Social media users still discuss the incident 17 years later. Though much online discourse is sympathetic to Rihanna’s experience of abuse now, commenters are still alleging under videos sharing Rihanna’s story that her and Chris “both played a part in it,” making it “unfair that Chris Brown was blamed more.”
“She eventually got told her part as well! She’s not innocent! That’s why she got back with him,” another commenter wrote under the same video.
These days, Brown continues to have a successful music career, with Billboard naming him the third most successful hip-hop artist of the 2010s.
It is an understatement to say that the internet is incredibly unkind to survivors of abuse. The defamatory and humiliating response to both women discussed above is indicative of the parasocial relationships that fans perceive between themselves and their favourite stars. The perceived closeness between fans and celebrities acts like an extra layer of protection; when stars already have good rapport with the public, you’ll find that strangers will rush to defend them even though they know virtually nothing about the intricacies of their lives.
Regardless of anyone’s view on any instance of abuse or those involved, it is incredibly inappropriate to make light of the incident in any capacity whatsoever. It is not only humiliating to make fun of the people involved — especially as they recount experiences of alleged abuse — but it also impacts how other survivors relate to their own experience of abuse.
I mean, after consuming endless content telling the public that it is okay to laugh at somebody recounting their trauma, who would want to reveal their experiences to anyone?
Social media users need to be held far more accountable regarding how they approach discussions of abuse and victimization. Abuse is never humorous; it is a devastating, life-changing experience that is incredibly hard to navigate on its own, let alone while watching countless people online turn it into a sick joke.