Overall rating: 2/5
“Baby Shark” is a cult classic, but underneath its dark exterior lies a deeper, more depressing message that the viral sensation is trying to hide.
“Baby Shark,” which was uploaded by South Korean children’s entertainment brand Pinkfong on June 17, 2016, has brought Baby Shark and his family great success. With easily over 100 different versions, “Baby Shark” has been covered by Josh Groban, gone platinum 11 times in the United States and is the first video on YouTube to reach over 10 billion views.
With over 10 million followers on his Instagram page, Baby Shark became a star overnight. His family has greatly benefited from his newly acquired stardom too, his mother just recently starring in the primetime television show “Dancing with the Starfish.”
“I’m so thankful for my son Baby Shark,” she told The Brock Press after being eliminated in the second week. “I wouldn’t be here without his support.”
So, what makes this track so special? A pulsating pop anthem, “Baby Shark” is the perfect track to keep the club jumping at the end of a long night. But underneath its catchy exterior, this cult classic tells a darker story.
The track starts with an expert painting of the monotonous lives of Baby Shark’s brightly coloured multigenerational family who are on the prowl, desperate to find food in order to survive. The listener is introduced to Baby Shark, Mommy Shark, Daddy Shark, Grandma Shark and Grandpa Shark, a strange organization considering sharks are typically solitary hunters.
While The Brock Press reached out to Baby Shark for comment on this matter, he declined. He stated he was too busy starring in his upcoming film “An Aegean Sea Christmas,” the fifth movie the viral sensation has appeared in since “Baby Shark” blew up.
“An Aegean Sea Christmas” features Baby Shark in the role of “Dimitrios Alexomollusk,” a handsome resort worker who attracts the attention of a young starlet from the Atlantic Ocean who has come home to deal with her estranged deceased father’s villa during the holidays.
While Baby Shark has yet to reveal what kind of shark he is, based on his general shape (long octagonal body and the classic Jaws dorsal fin) he is likely a great white shark, furthering the confusion surrounding the highly unusual nature of the familial hunting party depicted in the music video.
Perhaps his extended family hunts together because Grandma and Grandpa Shark, both without teeth, are unable to hunt for themselves due to old age. This issue has since been remedied thanks to Baby Shark’s rise to fame. Soon after “Baby Shark” went viral, Grandma and Grandpa Shark were both seen in public wearing impressively realistic sets of dentures.
Another possibility for this unusual organization could be the economic depression that is impacting sharks worldwide. Following the ongoing shark health crisis presented by encephalitis, an inflammation of the brain, the economy has taken a nosedive. Inflation and high-interest rates are making it impossible for sharks to purchase their own coral reefs, often living with their parents much longer than was typical 20 years ago.
“It’s ridiculous,” said one shark in an exclusive interview with The Brock Press. “If these kids weren’t buying those fancy seawater drinks from Starfishbucks every morning, they could have purchased their own coral reefs years ago.” When we asked what he had spent on his coral reef in 1965, the shark pulled down his seaweed mask and gladly told The Brock Press that his four-bedroom, two-bath detached single-family home with a finished basement and backyard cost him $29,000.
While it is unclear who owns the coral reef Baby Shark and his family return home to at the end of their hunt, in the music video, this unorthodox shark family all live together, suggesting that this economic crisis is impacting them as well.
Following his rise to fame, Baby Shark has refused to comment on his financial position prior to the release of his hit single, only stating “my family and I are very thankful for the position we are in right now.” Following that interview, he went on to buy a $300,000 sting ray that he is often seen riding near his multi-million-dollar home on the coast of Santa Monica Beach.
The Brock Press is unable to discern whether Baby Shark has made any charitable donations to local charities supporting homelessness since his rise to fame.
While everyone seems to love “Baby Shark,” I find the track to be rather musically uninteresting. Cyclical in nature, this classic is sonically not very gripping and for such a popular song, this editor had hoped for something truly magical. Furthermore, the song’s somewhat depressing narrative lyricism feels strange hanging against the backdrop of the synthesized, beat-driven pop backing track.
It seems obvious that Baby Shark was thinking more about finding fame with his mindless chart topper than truly exploring the underlying message present in his narrative lyricism. Perhaps if he had leaned further into the style of Taylor Swift, he might have found both fame and true artistic integrity.
Either way, the millionaire has done his best to ignore any comments about the way his family is depicted in the music video, suggesting that he would rather hide from his past than use it to further connect with and support his audience.
This article is part of a special edition of The Brock Press for April Fools and is completely satirical. None of the content contained within this article is meant to be representative of reality and all of the quotes are fabricated.
